sophomore year – some thoughts

If you spent any time around me in the final week or two of the semester you know how sad I was that sophomore year was coming to a close. This was a really good year. And even though I knew that (most) all of us would be back together on Colgate’s campus in a couple months (@seniors we will miss you), sophomore year was something special for reasons I can’t pinpoint and it was sad to think that this moment, this year, was nearly over.

The silver lining for me on the fact that the year was ending – was that I would get to write about it and in doing so I would get to re-live so many of the moments that made this year special. As I packed my bags and headed home and started to settle back into life in New Jersey I thought about what I might say about this year. I thought I might just share photos or thought I might share my top moments or lessons I learned this year. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that what I didn’t want to do, was write a post that made this year seem like a fairytale. I feel like this post needed a disclaimer. Because if I am going to be completely honest, while this year was more incredible that I could probably ever put into words, it was also a tough year – it was rollercoaster. Life’s like that. And no one talks about that enough. The more I thought about it, what I really wanted to write about for sophomore year, was not the moments that made it to Instagram, but the moments we’d all maybe like to gloss over or pretend didn’t happen. I wanted to produce something really honest.

But, two things got in my way. The first is that I didn’t want to write paragraphs dwelling on all the messy moments that happened this year because that just seems a little depressing. No one wants to read that and I don’t want to write that. And the second, is that I really wanted to include pictures in this post and I don’t have any pictures from those messy moments. They aren’t the moments I’d want to remember so I didn’t capture them, didn’t post them. And I’m torn because as I scroll through my photo album from this year, while it doesn’t feel completely phony it does feel like a sort of half-truth. Because while I have hundreds of photos showing me the happiest moments of the year, there are other moments that are missing. And I know it’s impossible to capture every moment but part of me wishes that my collection of photos from this year was a little less curated.

So after all that, what I want to do is share some of the happy moments and photos because in the end, this was a year defined by happiness and laughter and love. I guess I just wanted you all to be very conscious of the fact that these photos represent only a part of the year – a year that was both indescribably special and happy, but riddled with moments of uncertainty, sadness, and frustration.

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So cheers to the messy moments of the year – the moments I felt stuck and the moments that pushed me to grow. And cheers to the happy moments of the year – the laughs and all of the love that made it special. Onto the next …

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